Has this ever happened to you?

You’re feeling all ‘should-y’ about your business or beleaguered by trolls or overwhelmed by juggling your day job + side hustle. So you talk (and talk and talk) with your friends and mentors about it and you feel somewhat better.

But not completely.

And then you see an inspirational quote on Twitter or a bumper sticker and allofasudden everything just slides into place and all is right with the world.

Yeah, that’s happened to me, too.

Why do those short, pithy quotes have such power over us? Why are they sometimes more effective than in-depth conversations? And where can I get a print of that quote to hang above my desk?

With that in mind, here are nine clever, succinct quotes that are helping me while I redesign Yes & Yes, plan a six-week road trip, and ghostwrite a book for a major publisher. And try to not lose my mind in the process.

(you can click on each of these and pin them if you have an inspiration board!)

What are your go-to quotes in times of stress? I’d love to hear them - leave them in the comments!

sources: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 

When I see someone with less experience than me charging twice my rates, I think “Cheers to them for having that much chutzpah!”

When I see someone launch a wildly successful online course in my own area of expertise I meditate on the ‘There’s enough success for everyone’ mantra and send them a congratulatory email.

When I read about creating a scale-able business or leading a mastermind group or creating in-depth, hands-on ecourses, I calmly think “That’s not for me.” AND THEN I NEVER THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN.

Just to be clear, none of the above statements are true.  

Like everyone else ever, I want my business to thrive. I read lots of business and blogging books and do my best to implement the tips that are the right fit for me + my business. I try my hardest to make decisions that will support a day-to-day life that looks and feels the way I want.

And yet.

That doesn’t stop me from struggling with ye olde “I see what they’re doing and it’s bringing them a lot of success and I know I could do it to and be good at it, I totally don’t want to do it but I know I theoretically could do it” neuroses.*

If you’ve never encountered this feeling - you are an amazing human and I’d like to be your friend.

If you have encountered it, you know what it looks like and how it feels.

It’s thinking you should publish new blog posts every day - even if you don’t like writing.

It’s thinking you should attend tons of conferences - even if you’re introverted, hate traveling, and have made tons of friends on Twitter.

It’s thinking you should launch a mastermind group - even if you prefer one-on-one client work and hate managing logistics.

If this sounds familiar, welcome to the club. I brought a cheese plate.

I brought this conundrum to my friend Laura and if it’s possible to cure someone of The Shoulds, I think she did.

Laura wisely pointed out that when we come down with a case of The Shoulds, we’re usually enamored of someone’s end result:  30,000 Instagram followers, a six-figure income, a book deal, a partnership with the big-name brand.

If you’re struggling with Shoulds (particularly Shoulds you know aren’t right for your) simply direct your gaze a few feet to the left, adjust your focus, and imagine the behind-the-scenes and day-to-day that went into creating those end results. Would you want to do the things necessary to get them?

Feel like you should be chasing a book deal? 
Imagine the weeks (or months!) that go into crafting the perfect proposal. Now imagine piles of unanswered queries or template rejection letters. Imagine getting your book deal and realizing that your hourly rate for this book would break down to about $2.

Feel like you should be creating an app like I did? 
Imagine 7 gajillion emails between your developer, you, and your designer and imagine you don’t understand the technical language in most of those emails. Imagine writing hundreds of short, inspiring snippets till your internal well runs so dry you look around your office thinking “Today, say yes to …. potted plants. calendars. lamp.”

Feel like you should be curating a beautiful, branded Instagram feed?
Imagine having a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend and stopping her mid-sentence so you can take a photo of your steaming soup. Imagine taking a sweet, meaningful photo of your travels but feeling like you can’t post it because the colors clash with your branding. Imagine strangers making snide comments about your hair/dog/choice of bedding.

I would never, ever dissuade you from going after something you truly want, something you know - in the marrow of your bones - is right for you. And the day-to-day reality of chasing any goal - even those we’re really excited about - is rarely glamorous.

But if you’re struggling to get past those should-y suggestions that leave you cold, take a minute to consider all the hard work you’d have to put into pursuing something you don’t even want.

Cured? Me, too.

Do you struggle with The Shoulds? I really feel like I ‘should’ be creating a course or a group offering, that I’m losing money by only offering one-on-one work. But I like one-on-one work! I don’t want to lead group calls or manage a Facebook group. What ‘shoulds’ are wrong for you? 

* Catchy name for a neuroses, right?

photo by Mike Lewinski // cc

So you’re super serious about your site. You bought the domain name, you’ve got social media on lockdown, and you’re ready to buy ad space so you can piggyback off someone else’s traffic.

Awesome! But how does one make sure that’s money well spent?

I’m so glad you asked, friend.

1. Obviously, advertise on a site that’s read by your ideal customers and clients
If you sell artisan vinegars you should be advertising on a food blog, not a fashion blog. If you sell purses you should be advertising on a fashion blog, not an online marketing blog. If you’re a mommy blog, you probably don’t want to advertise on Rookie.  Generally speaking, lifestyle blogs are a decent fit for most products aimed at women and design blogs work for anything that’s style-y and homes-good-ish.

2. Look for (or ask for) testimonials from previous advertisers
What sort of traffic boost can you expect? How many new Twitter followers? How many new list signups? Hopefully, the site will post these sponsor testimonials (mine are here) and if they don’t make that information public, they should at least be able to tell you about an expected return on investment.

When possible looks for hard numbers. Things like “When I looked at site statistics for readers from Yes & Yes: the average (lovely) visitor from Y&Y stayed on my site for 3:22 minutes compared to an average 1:22, the bounce rate was 44% compared to the average 78%, and Y&Y was my second largest traffic source for the month.” Rather than “Sarah was really easy to work with!”

3. Find sites that will include you in an actual blog post
Now, this is the proverbial needle in the haystack but if you can find a high-traffic blog that includes sponsors in real, actual blog posts, I so encourage you to work with them. I am, of course, biased because I include my sponsors in blog posts but I also speak from experience.  I’ve purchased sidebar ad space and sidebar + included-in-a-post ad space and they can’t compare.

Most people read blogs in RSS feeds these days so they never even see the sidebar! I couldn’t in good conscience ask people to pay $80 a month for an ad tens of thousands of people weren’t seeing.

4. Link your ad to a list of freebies, your ‘best ofs’ or your newsletter signup
So you’ve purchased your ad space. Are you going to link it to your home page? I totally understand the inclination, but it’s actually a lot smarter to link to your ‘best ofs’ (here’s mine), your freebies (like Danielle does), or your newsletter signup (like Laura did with her Yes and Yes ad space). 

Your goal with your ad space is to begin a long, loving relationship with your new readers. You don’t want those new readers to pop over to your site, read half a post, and then leave, never to turn their thoughts in your direction again. You want them to take action - download something, sign up for something, follow you on social media so you can keep in touch with them.

If you’re suuuuper ambitious, you can even make a page that’s specific to the readers of the site where you’re advertising and make sure that page is optimized to appeal to those readers.

5. If your ad links to a blog post(s) make sure they’re optimized + as awesome as humanly possible
What does that mean?  Optimized blog posts
* include in-text links to related content
* are related to your services or offerings and link accordingly
* have gorgeous, Pinterest-friendly images (here’s how to make your images more pinnable)
* you’ve written alt text and title text for the images (it’s not that hard)
* maybe you’ve even used the P.S. trick

I realize this sounds like one metric ton of work but if you’re going to spend money on an ad, you might as well, you know, benefit from it. If you’re interested in buying ad space on Yes and Yes, you can check out my rates and info here - my sponsors love it and I have tons of repeat business! 

Tell me: what other sites do you know that include sponsors in actual posts? Where have you advertised?

P.S. If you know someone who’s bought ad space and been disappointed or is thinking of buying ad space for the holidays, send ‘em a link to this post!

photo by Giuseppe Milo // cc